Apology again for not being able to update on friday as i had to return home late from a very upsetting badminton tryout and leaving straight to go watch a play in an elementary school.
so talking about friday.
I spent the whole day thinking hard about making the cut for the team.
I know i used to bail my CCA for a trip to TM and have fun with my friends and whatnots but i do really love playing it.
So anyways, Once i stepped into the gym, a whole new feeling entangled me, suffocating my pride and confidence. I'm drained from the pride i use to cloak around me. i felt so naked.
The coldness of the stares and the catty whispers begins to scratch upon my feelings, tearing me up a little at a time.
It was like i was the new girl again.
I didn't even get to play much due to some selfish reasons of some people.
i cant bring myself to think that i have to work with this people to an extent if i'm gonna play doubles.
I shall just have to work hard and climb myself to my own victory.
I cant accord for any efforts or actions but mine.
And i don't care for anyone of those people's respect.
All i want is for my own sucess to what i want and should do.
But at that time i did not realize what i could do for myself rather than mope about by some bitches that give me shit about myself.
I went home not bothering to change to a pair of jeans.
i stormed out of the school in shorts and walked 40 mins back to home.
In my way Dean had to call me and i being such a weak person by feelings, mopped about like a whiny ass bitch.
I felt so silly but really. it hurts.
But time will heal me.
I'm as stubborn as a jack ass.
I thank God for giving me courage to withstand the pain i go through everyday in school just to give me a better education and a fuller life.
If anyone is gonna give me such a bad time about being who i am.
They can go suck balls for grade for all i care. But i'm climbing my way to the top.
I have more to encounter in my life to come in a foreign land where none it a friend but mere stranger to my eyes. None of which i trust as much as my friends of decade.
But i'm healed and ready to face my tomorrow with God on my side, telling me that this is for me and no one else can take it unless i let them.

With all matters aside, i spent 4 hours 9 minutes and 25 seconds on the phone.
Lasting till 4 am .
And seriously, it was the longest time i've spoken to anyone on the phone. Which reminds me how i used to call lynette on the phone even though i see her in school everyday.
It was awesome.
I miss you guys so much.


ps.
WATCH SLUMDOG millionaire!
just for fun, this is a good video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzH1ApYJ7-Y
i could not get to paste it here.

its good, go watch it.